I'll bet he didn't think he'd be on the internet.....

T.S. Elliot wrote that April is the cruelest month. Well he didnt have a friend who put pictures of him in a dress on the internet. I absolutely love Halloween. Now of course there are pictures of me in a dress from a past Halloween so I may put that up to be fair. Yeah, right. A bunch of drunk adults can sit around a fire and eat chili and drink beer when its 50 degrees dressed like, morons. I love it. Don't get sick on all the candy. Enjoy some Halloween links-
Cryplogic - cool art from Brian Baugh
1313 magazine - all kinds of kool stuff
Something a-go-go - you'll just have to check this out
Silly Monster toys - cool monster toys from days gone by
Sideshow Monkey - more cool scary artwork

Project sighting

I left work the other day and instead of going straight home I went to the Mega-Lo-Mart to pick up some sundry items for the garagemobile. Sitting at a stoplight, I spot a motorcycle. Sitting in the parking lot behind some crappy apartments is a shitted up sportbike. There is a tarp slumped alongside that most assuredly blew off long ago. It looks as if it was looped out, broken plastic, small parts pile maybe...... This is exactly what I do not need.
The light turns green and I head off to buy a sheet of melamine and some hinges. Last night I decide to return to the Mega-Lo-Mart to pick up some more crap. Rerun of the previous trip. The smashed sportbike is still there. Now it has entered my head like one of those songs you hear and cant stop hearing. The shitted up sport bike is calling to me like the sirens from Homer's Oddesey. It's Karen Carpenter luring me in, trying to crash my figurative boat on the rocks that would be the wallet draining shitted up sportbike.

Don't you remember you told me you loved me baby,
you said you'd be coming back this way again baby,
baby baby baby oh baby
I luuuuuhhhhvvvv yoooouuu...

The light turns green and I floor it. It's a sickness I tell you. I'm drawn to fucked up old junk like a fly to a big steamy pile. Now, I could probably find the owner and strike some sort of deal. Of course that would be a huge time killer and the guy would be some methed out tweaker or something. Then I'd pay too much for it. Nobody ever has a title for something like this. "Hey, I'll have Grandma co-sign so I can drop ten grand on this new bike and then toss the title in the trash like its a White Castle reciept" Then I would get it home and get the stink eye from my wife for paying too much fo a piece of shit. Yeah, that's never happened before. Then I'd spend weekends chasing parts, learning about all the intricasies of the XYZ4700 and locating the owners club and .................
Ulysses strapped himself to the mast and gave all his rowers earplugs. I put this on the blog.
Just say no, Surly. Just drive away.

2005 Chicago White Sox - World Series Champs

I new they could do it.

Too many projects and pictures of pretty motorcycles

My good friend (whom I’ve never met or spoken to) Lucky, posted a link to my site and said “This guy has too many projects and pictures of pretty motorcycles”. Brother, you don’t know the half of it. Well, I take that as a compliment and I was thinking about all the projects and the pictures of motorcycles. That should really be the name of this rag. I still like the bizzare "Still life with Cranston Ritchie" though. I've decided to actually include the namesake here for your pleasure. This blog started as a creative outlet to rant about random crap. Well, it is that but it’s evolved into more of a diary of my projects. I get much more enjoyment out of it that way anyhow. After all, the reason we build shit is so we can show it off right? I will lay out some of the projects I’ve either got going currently or are backburnered waiting to get a garage. Of course readers of this thing will know the garage is project numero uno. All of this project neurosis comes directly from my father, by the way. He loves to “surround myself with shit”. His words, direct quote.
Just as a point of reference The Chief, as he is known, has a 41 Plymouth, a seventy- something Volkswagen, and 9 or so motorcycles, none of which actually run. These are the big projects but in no way represent all the projects. I digress. I own three motorcycles, one runs well and is fairly new (XR70), my CB550 Honda, which runs but needs a lot of TLC, and a ’69? Harley-Davidson Sprint 250. The little Harley is an Italian built, single cylinder 250 thing that looks nothing like what you’d expect coming from H-D. Not good or bad just different. I own 7 or so bicycles, three of which I have been chronicling here, the others are or were projects. I truly cannot remember the last time I actually rode a bicycle, by the way. Last fall I sold my 66 Plymouth Belvedere and I would love to get another old Mopar. I recently took up pinstriping as a hobby and I’ve striped some things and plan to stripe some more. Hopefully, I’ll get good enough to display the results here. I do photography as a hobby. Mostly black and white old timey stuff that I develop in my darkroom. I’ll try to scan some of my “pretty motorcycle” pictures to share here.I’ll lay out some of the cooler stuff as time goes on. Too many projects? Naw. There are never too many projects, just not enough time or money.

More of a mild custom than a chopper

I thought the blue 3-speed was going to be cool. However, the vision I had for it really didnt fit the type of frame it is. This little green meanie right here -now this fits the bill. I put the banana seat and sissy bar on the blue bike and that just killed it. Amy said I should toss it back in the trash, Grumpyunk said I needed a mullet to ride it. Ok, ok, I get it. You can see it below in the shiny floor pics (sort of). I passed this bike about a hundred times. It was leaning against a tree in someones garden dripping with quaint. I thought to myself, I need that bike.Well, on my usual Teusday night rounds I spotted the tree leaner out by the curb. I swung the truck around and went back to scope out the green bike. After a brief confab with the owner, who was a very nice salt of the earth-tell it like it is kind of lady, I drove away with a classic american middleweight bicycle and a very heavy T.V. stand. She wanted twenty bucks for the bike and twenty-five for the stand. The bike, upon closer inspection, had a tag reading fifteen dollars. I figured if she had it tagged fifteen, she'd take ten. I had a ten dollar bill in my pocket. She said I was killing her (with a wry smile) but o.k. she'd take ten. She then tries the hard sell on the t.v. stand. I tell her how all I had was the tenner and I had no room for the stand. She says just take it and sell it to a buddy and keep the cash. I again tell her how I dont have room blah, blah, but I'll take it away if she just wants it gone. It's too bad I didn't have time to talk to her, she seemed cool as hell. Turns out my Mom wanted the t.v. stand anyhow.

As for the bike, it uses fat tires that are readily available and the blue 3-speed uses some anomalous skiny things. The forks are tweaked pretty bad on this bike but I think I'm going to build a motorcycle style rigid front end for it anyhow. I already swapped out the bars for the apes. I'll just put the banana seat away for right now. I don't think I dont think I've got the stones to ride around on a banana seat-ed 3-speed from the trash. The paint on this thing is cool. Green sparkle, weather faded with chrome tape pinstripes. I have this thing for green metal-flake. I'm drawn to it like a hot dog to a donut. I may just leave the paint as is. The proper way to do a project is to put it all together and make sure everything fits, then take it apart, paint and reassemble. I usually dont get past the first assembly phase. If it comes apart after that I'll probably paint it something flat and primery. Hell yeah, now were gettin somewhere.

Pics for Bayou Boy

The White Sox win the Pennant!

The White Sox win the Pennant! The White Sox win the Pennant!
Now that's a kick ass birthday present. Thanks guys!

First we moved the garage, now I can move the stuff

First-I'd like to say the chopper in the last post is not mine. I was trying to get the pics to work and it was the first pic I grabbed. Just a cool bike, sorry if the title of the post was misleading.
If you click on the pic it links to the site it came from.
Well, it was a productive weekend with the minor exception of the three or four hours on Saturday where I almost quit my job and burned the friggin building to the ground. I had a plan that I was to execute Friday night. I was going to clean the floor Friday night so I could put down the sealer on Sat. morning. Plans change. My Crazy Uncle , on the last leg of his motorcycle epic, stopped by so I was glad to stop and chat. It was great seeing you Grumpyunk!
Plan moves to Sat. morning. I get up bright and shiny Sat. morning. While getting ready to head out to the garage, the wifey says she's leaving for an hour or two and has some stuff for me to do and I'm watching the boy. O.k. plan moves to 11:30. I get my stuff, go out to the garage, start cleaning the floor. Cell phone rings, I dont recognize the number-
"Hello"
"Hey, whatcha doin?"
"Who is this?"
"It's So and So from work"
"Oh, shit"
"I couldnt find your cell number"
"There's a good reason for that"
"I need you to come in and look at this job that's screwed up"
Right about now I'm starting to look like the thermometer in the old cartoons. You know the one where the alcohol rises to the top and then explodes? That was me.
Fast forward four hours. I come back home and shut off my cell phone. Maybe forever. I go back in the garage and start scrubbing the floor.
Things are back on track now. My wife is awesome-her and the neighbor called me in the house and gave me a shiny new galvanized garbage can, a broom, dustpan, and the cool shopcoat I've been wanting for an early birthday present. She new I was pissed and wanted to calm me down. It worked, thanks guys I really appreciate it.
I got the floor cleaned and it was dry by morning. Sunday was a beautiful day, I got the floor sealed, the apron sealed, the front sidewalk sealed, the trim new painted, and the garage door seals put on. The sealer is all dry too, so now I can really move all my crap in. 'Bout fuckin time.
Tomorrow is my birthday and I still have to deal with the screwed up job at work.
Cue the circus music.

She's mine all mine

The inspector came today and inspected. I have permission to occupy the Garagemobile. I've still got a boatload of work to do, but occupy I will. So now, for my next trick, I will clean the floor and put down some sealer and then I can move all my crap in. When I get rollin on the whole movin in thing I'll post some pics. I made new trim for the overhead door, I put in a window in the back that I dig out of the trash. That was a sweet deal, two new, old windows. I will put the other window in before winter hits. I started building a workbench because of course this will be the place where things are created, not a place to park the car. The workbench will be cool, I'm using the I-beams that made up the frame we used to lift the Garagemobile. I'm going to build a motorcycle lift, also. Not some fancy steel, hydraulic thing that you put your FXLMNOP Harley on but a nifty homebrew plywood thingy. If your back hurts working on the bike sitting on the floor check out the plans here.

On another note-I did score some parts from the flea market for the trash chopper. I got a banana seat, sissy bar, and some sundry other doo-dads. The bike probably warrants it's own post so I'll give it a little write-up later. No pictures tonight-I cant get the damn thing to work.

Update_I added a random picture of a chopper because I can.

It's official- a new project.

I started the mockup of my newest bicycle project. I swapped the old man for a set of apes and pulled the headlight off the mommy bike and with a few friends from the parts buckets--voila! The first picture is sort of the look I'm going for. It's an Electra. I've never ridden one or actually laid eyes on an actual nuts and bolts bike, but they look cool as hell. The bottom pic is what it looks like now. I think it needs a name. "The chopper bike" really doesn't do it justice. I'm not really going to "chop" it per se, so something more appropriate is in order. Since I pulled it out of the trash I'm thinking of something with trash in the name. I'm open to suggestions.

Can you see it? Whitewall tires, flat black with some pinstripes..... The 3-speed shifter works, but the chain is junk. All the chrome is rusted so there is alot of sanding and blasting needed. So far I have no cash invested, so I've got that going for me. I'm going to check out the flea market this weekend and see if I can score a banana seat. This kind of stuff is a sickness with me. I cant get away from it. Cool.

The pictures dont always work.

I dont know. Sometimes the stuff works. Sometimes it does not.
I've tried 5 or 6 times to put these pictures on the post below. Here they are. Pretty anti-climactic eh? You just wait-someday that will be the coolest chopper styled bicycle you've ever seen on this site.

Good week for trashpicking

I'm a trashpicker. From time to time people toss out things that they believe has no value. Sometime the stuff has no cash value and it's just cool. I don't just indiscriminately rummage through garbage cans looking for stuff, but if I see something I can use or sell or it's just cool I'll snag it. For instance, a few weeks ago when I picked up the 550 parts bike, one of my neighbors tossed out one of those hard plastic bins with the lid with interlocking fingers. I snagged the box from the trash, hosed it out and bingo, a box for 550 parts. Teusday is trash 'nite in a nearby community, that is, the Sanitation folks pick up the stinky goodies on Wednesday. So, I'm driving home Teusday night and I spot a bicycle behind a couple of cans up against the bushes. I have a soft spot for bicycles. It breaks my heart to see a perfectly good bicycle get tossed in a landfill. I spun around and tossed them in the truck. Bonus! there was a second bike under the first. The one on top was your standard ladies 3-speed. In my experience, this has been the most common throw-away bike. Aside from thier looks, these are actually very good bikes and I can't figure out why people dont ride them. This is about the 4th one I've owned. It needs tires and a bath and you could ride it to work for $0.00 per gallon. I digress. The other bike is a bit anomalous. It looks like a bizzare hybrid (ok not that bizzare) of your standard department store 10-speed and your standard department store 3-speed. This bike has potential. I'm thinking chopper, but we were talking trashpicking here right? The next find needs a little backstory. I purchased a 4x5 view camera at a garage sale about two years ago. Yesterday I went to Michigan for a workshop on how to use the view camera to it's fullest. Today I'm on my way home from a morning of trap shooting (yeah, big weekend) and I spot a 4x5 enlarger sitting by the curb. This is the same house that had the garage sale where I bought the camera. Spooky. Yep, tossed it in the truck. So now I have 3 enlargers and 7 bicycles. I think the enlarger will go to the old man and the ladies 3-speed is free to a good home. Except the headlight-I'm keeping that. I've got some ideas for the other bike. Hmmmmm.........
(I have pictures but the blogger photo thing did'nt take) I think there is a problem with my home 'puter. I'll get the pics up later.